Women didn't abandon Prez for Prostitutes

It’s not a great time to be a woman.

We’ve lost fundamental rights we had for more than 50 years.

If we do get a plum job, we risk the ire of know-nothings who think we only got it because of “DEI” which stands for “diversity, equity and inclusion.” DEI enjoyed a brief moment in the spotlight but no more. The folks who have never had to fret about stacked decks, discriminatory hiring and, well, racism, have roared loud enough to kill the notion of a program attempting to level the playing field.

The latest screechy opposition to DEI comes from, predictably, right wing folk who are outraged—OUTRAGED, I TELL YOU—because they believe the women agents charged with helping protect Trump at the Pennsylvania rally were most likely DEI hires.

When people like that say “DEI” it’s with the same curled lip normally reserved for phrases like “child molester” or “self check-out.”

The internet blew up when it realized there were women Secret Service agents on the former president’s security detail. The women were blasted from all sides, maligned for being not tall enough or big enough to adequately protect Trump. Just another bunch of DEI hires, commenters harrumphed, stopping just short of the old and never-was-funny “Women…can’t live with ‘em, can’t shoot ‘em.”

The pile-on was swift. The Secret Service should only hire men to work a security detail. No more “DEI” hires coming in there with their lady parts, acting all shorter than 6 feet tall.

I literally looked at my calendar to verify it wasn’t 1956. Alas, it was not. Meghan McCain (formerly of “The View”) railed about the idiocy of hiring women because of their tiny size. As ever, we can be our own worst enemies.

Elon Musk called for the female head of the Secret Service to be fired. And then make him a nice casserole, I’m guessing.

I’ve watched, and rewatched, footage of the Secret Service agents shielding Trump and I don’t see an appreciable difference between the actions of the men and women. All worked to get Trump off the stage and into a car.

Yes, it is true the Secret Service has committed to bring women agents up to 30 percent of the force by 2030. But let’s reflect for a sec on why that initiative was announced to begin with.

Gather ‘round, chirren, while we go back in time to 2012, the year when 10 agents—ALL MALE—were fired for bringing prostitutes back to their hotel rooms in Colombia during Obama’s visit.

A year later, two Secret Service supervisors, BOTH MALE, were fired for sending sexually explicit emails and physically harassing a female subordinate. Because what’s a dumb old girl doing in that man’s job anyway?

 A few years later, two high-ranking MALE Secret Service agents showed up at a bomb threat at the White House so hammered they drove their government car through a barricade, narrowly missing the package containing the suspected bomb. Hey, it was a work thing at a bar in Chinatown. Boys will be boys.

 And let’s not forget the Secret Service agent assigned to the White House in 2015 who could barely keep his mind on protecting the president because he was on his phone texting a 14-year-old girl. Well, actually he was caught in a child sex sting. Turns out the 14-year-old was really a female law enforcement agent. I guess girl cops are good for something, as it turns out.

 It’s no surprise there’s pushback when women show up in numbers to join a profession that has been predominantly male. What’s not acceptable is the casual willingness to disrespect these women when history has shown none of them has jeopardized national security via prostitute. Or any of the rest of it. Nope. That’s all on the boys.

Celia Rivenbark is a humor columnist and NYT-bestselling author. Write to her at celiarivenbark@gmail.com.