R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Published July 31, 2015

By Tom Campbell

by Tom Campbell, Executive Producer and Moderator, NC SPIN, July 30, 2015.

Is it just me or have we come to a time when people can say anything they want with no sense of remorse of concern for others? The current presidential circus is filled with candidates calling each other names but this disrespectful conduct has filtered down and is now tolerated in North Carolina.

One State Senator called the Governor “tone deaf,” saying McCrory can’t decide whether he wants to be Governor of Charlotte or Mayor of North Carolina. Another claimed he has nothing to do with budget negotiations. One Representative publicly told McCrory to “shut up.” These are Republicans demeaning a governor of their own party. Another Representative referred to the residents of Greensboro as “willful and petulant children deprived of a treat, impotently flailing their little arms and legs about.” This name-calling, ridiculing and vilification reminds us more of children on a playground than elected officials doing the people’s business.

P.M. Forni, co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project, in his book Choosing Civility, says we have placed great value on self-expression in this culture, but we frequently confuse this with the need for self-control, a quality we expect people to have learned when they become adults. We wonder where are the grownups in the legislature and why aren’t they speaking out against this unacceptable conduct?

Many of us were raised in a time when elected officials, doctors, lawyers, pastors or those in high positions in commerce commanded certain deference, and I’m still old school enough to believe that the office of governor of our state, regardless of who occupies it, deserves respect.

Our mamas always told those of us born and raised in the South that, “if you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.” If someone acted rudely or displayed poor manners they obviously “ are not from around here.” At the least we would preface unpleasantries by beginning them by saying, “bless his heart…. That’s all changed. Native born Tar Heels have taken up the disparaging practice.

Have we become so self-important and narcissistic as to believe we can bash anyone any time we like? Our inappropriate conduct has sadly devolved to the point where anyone who disagrees with you on any point becomes your sworn enemy. Not only must you prevail in an argument with those who disagree but you aren’t to stop until the person is humiliated, eviscerated and stomped upon.

My father served in the legislature, back in the 70s and it was common for R’s and D’s to socialize, eat meals, stay in the same hotel and work closely together on legislation. Now the two parties barely speak to one another. It is difficult to treat anyone with admiration who shows contempt or disrespect for other officeholders and the public.

Are these tactics designed to divert our attention from what is really being accomplished on Jones Street? Our lawmakers would get more done by focusing on issues instead of personalities.

Incivility is uncalled-for, unappreciated and definitely unproductive. This toxic, unacceptable behavior won’t end until folks call it out and declare that further discussion and debate be mannerly or else discontinued.

Aretha Franklin spelled it out in her 1960s song. What we want, what we need and what we should demand is a little more r-e-s-p-e-c-t.

July 31, 2015 at 9:52 am
Tom Hauck says:

Thanks for another well thought out and accurate column, Tom.

The sad thing is that no one pays any attention unless something "over-the-top" is included in the speech. I think it comes from too much information flying by at all times and a lack of respect taught in the home and the schools and a reduction in the number of people who go to church -- any church.

Hopefully the general public will pickup the mantle and start to complain about this very shallow need to say something toxic to make a point. Little children do that to get attention.

Thanks again for your continuous attempts to inject civility and depth into the political discussion.

July 31, 2015 at 10:17 am
Mike says:

Great column. Your message should be read in front of each house of the NC Legislature.

July 31, 2015 at 1:24 pm
Carol Carter says:

Agreed!

July 31, 2015 at 12:16 pm
Carol Carter says:

KUDOS TO YOU! Thanks for bringing this to publication. Voters don't like hearing all the negativity. What happened to the good old days of running on facts and issues rather than name-calling. I don't like seeing this lack of respect trickle down to our North Carolina elections and day to day legislative activities. We are better than that. That is what makes us " North Caolinians."

July 31, 2015 at 3:18 pm
William A. Franklin says:

I remember 60 plus years of "politeness" and "courtesy" in which the whims of the rich and powerful of NC, mostly race-baiters, mostly Democrats, controlled politics completely. It took a lot of "in your face" to help break this iron control based on race, class, religion and only incidentally on party. Campbell, you promote this now through the preferences you show to Civitas and Locke, which have dominated what is thought of as valid comment by the Teabillies and right wing evangelical rednecks and Fundamentalist Taliban. As in the racist southern attacks on Eleanor Roosevelt, "Cry No More My Lady". Oh, she was widow of the President way back then, or can you remember? Her attacker was W. E. Debnam of Raleigh, a true southern racist patriot. Some vile stuff, which set the racial tone for Jesse Helms and others.