Gaza-lago is Trump’s newest harebrained ego trip

It’s time to just accept it, y’all: U.S. President Donald Jelonious Trump is officially, certifiably, undeniably nuts.

It was different when we just assumed he was a malicious narcissist. Oh, how I pine for the days I just thought he was a vengeful, entitled grifter who hated poor people. That was the devil we know, so to speak.

Nope. We’ve entered the era of card-carrying crazypants, the kind where they don’t even get tossed in the White House washer now and again. They are ALWAYS on.

White House Butler: “What will it be today, sir? The crazypants again?”

Trump: “You know it, Jeeves! J.D. said they make my ass look great and he should know because he lives up there 24/7.”

Why am I saying this now? Well, this business of the U.S. taking over Gaza and developing it as a resort property, a –what did he call it?—“Riviera of the Middle East” confirmed the astonishing level of crazy we’re dealing with.

He is, to borrow comedian John Mulaney’s brilliant analogy of Trump back in the Omen, Part 1 (first term) “the horse in a hospital.” It’s something you never thought you’d see, and you don’t know what to do about it and the horse is just runnin’ through the corridors disrupting everything and no one can stop him.

Watching Trump’s press conference Tuesday night (the shit I do for y’all, oy!) I was struck by the relatively calm demeanor of Benjamin Netanyahoo who stood silently beside Trump while unrelenting crazy spewed from his pie-hole.

Why didn’t Neti pot say something?? How could he just stand there and nod in gentle affirmation instead of whispering: “Donald, that’s, like, sooooo f***ed up. Please stop talking.”

When Aqua Net finally did speak it was to praise Trump’s “vision and wisdom.” So, yeah, Trump clearly has pictures of him doing something unspeakable with farm animals. There is no other possible explanation.

Kidding, of course. There would have to be an entire album of pix to explain all the Republicans who remain silent and continue to support Trump-lon’s speedy demolition of democracy.

Mike Johnson with a bashful sheep (who honestly could do better), Thom Tillis with a fetching chicken, Bill Cassidy with a beguiling goat…and so on.

So, uh, what are we going to do about this? Who’s going to lead Trump off the world stage and put him where he can no longer hurt himself or others? Like entire countries of others.

I’m guessing Melania can’t be bothered. She has to be in New York to prepare milk and cookies for her college freshman son every evening. Yeah. That’s not weird.

There have been a lot of references to the “mad king” lately and all are appropriate, unfortunately. I suppose some of the Republicans, who surely find it impossible to sit upright without a spine, are lounging about in fetid puddles on the floors of Congress quietly bemoaning their poor choice. They bet on the wrong horse and now he’s in the Emergency Room angrily neighing on his hind legs.

I don’t know how they can unring the bell, to use a tired but apt metaphor. The vice president ascending to the throne is a no-go. It was always the personality cult of Trump that appealed to MAGA faithful. Just Trump. Vance? Pffffft. When he does try to talk like Trump it just sounds exactly like you’d expect: 50 percent whiny and 50 percent little bitch.

Also, he grew up poor. MAGAts like their saviors to be billionaire draft-dodgin’ soft boys with room-temp IQs and an appetite for revenge. What could go wrong?

The short answer? Near ‘bout errything.

Elon can’t be president because he wasn’t born here but I imagine those gelatinous senators oozing all over the floor will try to fix that eventually.

Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville could introduce an amendment to the Constitution allowing “Just near-Trillionaires from South Africa” to be appointed president.”

Somewhere a box of hammers is outdone to have been bested by a human in the category of “dumb as…”

Hang in there, friends. Only 1,079 days to go…