Deep thoughts by Michele Morrow

Michele Morrow, the GOP nominee for Superintendent of Public Instruction in North Carolina, advocated putting cameras in school bathrooms to prevent guns in schools. Last year, she wrote on Twitter, “My plan to stop people having guns in schools. 1. Controlled entry and exit doors (SRO’s and metal detectors) 2. Video surveillance in classrooms, hallways and bathrooms 3. Immediate expulsion for the remainder of the year for any violations 4. Charge parents if it is their gun.”

I think they should be in all homeschool bathrooms, too. For that matter, they should probably be in all homeschool bedrooms since 85% of all unintentional firearm deaths occur at a house or apartment and 30% of all those guns came “from nightstands and other sleeping areas,” according to the CDC. Since we’re now subsidizing private schools, they should also have “Video surveillance in classrooms, hallways and bathrooms” as well as metal detectors.

As for schools, I think we should arm all students since more guns make us safer. If everybody in school thought everybody else could shoot them, we would reduce school violence. Then, we wouldn’t even need school resource officers. If a mass shooter walked into a classroom, the whole class would unload on him. We would teach self-sufficiency and rugged individualism.

We should not, however, offer free guns to children. That would teach them that they should be dependent on the government for their safety. Children who couldn’t afford guns would just have to go gunless until their family could learn to manage their money better. They will need to pull themselves up by their gun straps.

Michele Morrow has been full of good ideas and keen insight. She thinks we should execute her political opponents on television. She’s never worked in a public school, but she has lots of ideas about them. She believes public schools are socialist “indoctrination centers.” In 2021, she believed that Chinese troops were massed on the Canadian border, prepared to invade the United States as soon as Joe Biden was sworn in. In 2019, she said Barak Obama “was a puppet for the Deep State and the Muslim movement to destroy our Constitutional Republic.” She also showed the courage of her convictions when she declared Governor Roy Cooper, “Comrade Cooper” as she calls him, a communist sympathizer. She’ll do wonders for teaching critical thinking skills.

That’s quite a ticket the Republican Party has nominated. Donald Trump is a convicted felon, habitual liar, and narcissist. Gubernatorial nominee Mark Robinson thinks some people just need killing. And Michele Marrow wants to watch your children pee.

Not your parents’ GOP.