Been thinkin about...March Madness

March Madness 2025 is over. A net has been cut. Ball caps and teeshirts have been distributed. A gold-plated trophy has been awarded. Banners are being made to be hung in arenas. Big money is about to be distributed to the athletic departments of participating colleges and universities (schools). Now the meat-market for next year can begin.

 For those offended by "Meat Market," please combine recruit, transfer, portal, name, image, likeness, eligibility and related enhancements (related enhancements are any number of favors for meat’s family or friends that are negotiated by an agent).  However, do not include "Student Athlete" in any meat. If that student part was important, commentators and sportswriters would include degree choice, classes taken, grades and actual classroom hours attended (oops, I forgot…that’s so confidential even parents shouldn’t know). I never heard a single commentator mention the academic degree that any one of the 960 players (64 teams X 15 players=960) in the tournament was pursuing. What I did hear often was the several schools that a player had attended.

 Men’s basketball (hereinafter just meat) is simply divided into center meat, guard meat and forward meat, but for buyers and sellers, it is often further divided into center meat, point meat, shooting meat, small meat, power meat, defensive meat, combined meat and just meat. Tall meat is about seven feet (minus 1" and plus 5"). Point meat is around 6’ 3" with a few exceptions below 6’. All the other meat is in between. If a school doesn’t have at least one piece of center meat, it probably won’t make the Final Four. All that meat comes from high schools, prep schools, academies, and foreign nations (a lot of center meat comes from South Sudan, the Netherlands and Rwanda).

 There are several classes of adults shopping for meat. There are coaches, assistant coaches, agents, alumni, parents (mostly Moms) and general managers (if you don’t have a basketball general manager you’re in deep trouble-or as one coach says…you’re not sustainable). Most meat is bought directly with money, the promise of money, playing time or related enhancements. Herein lies a major issue for the meat market: Schools with the most money can usually buy the best meat…and only fifteen pieces of meat are allowed on a tournament team. As one commentator remarked, "That school’s team lost because the other school could buy better players." School meat money comes from many, misty sources, and is distributed to players in several forms that are not concealed but are intentionally vague. Any school can become a national contender in one year if it has enough meat money! If a school does not have a basketball general manager, and a pile of meat money, forget hanging banners.

Here’s the rub…the meat also shops for money! Meat can start shopping for money around when the regular season ends and before March Madness begins. This shopping period is a transfer portal when meat not involved in March Madness can shop for the next school where they can earn some meat money and/or increase their value. Meat in the portal is a recent complication for basketball teams and coaches. Old fashioned teams developed players over several seasons. Players tended to stay around for awhile. Coaches prided themselves on their ability to meld players into teams over time. Portal teams are one and done. Meat wants to increase its value and that means maximum playing time this season under a coach who understands transfer portal basketball. Coaches who understand the portal know how meat ages and how to blend it for one season.

I’ve started to think about my favorite team as a meat loaf. Instead of a recipe of beef, pork, veal and several other ingredients, there is an eight man rotation of tall meat, guard meat, forward meat and the rest just meat suited up for practice. I don’t know where most of the starting line-up meat came from or where it will go next season. What matters is this: Does my school have enough meat money to buy a bunch that can hang a banner next year?